Practice (3rd Article)

Bismillahi rahman nir rahim.......

Sometimes I looking to myself, until now how much my life improvement, my self development, materially, spiritually and also English. Probably I'm far behind if I compared with all my friends. Several time I had tried improving myself but until now not much improvement. The way I talk. The way I think, it still at the same level. And I always think why? Why? Which area I have to improve? And How to make myself at the different level now? Did I work not hard enough? Or which angle that I have to focus. All inside my mind. But at end I still here. How Hard I work. How frequent I read. How much watching movies. I still here. Still walking around the bush. Did it gifted or I still not following the right way.
That dilemma that I am always facing. Probably there are too many things inside my mind which make me unable to handle all. Or to write the right words have read a lot. Or the Idea for writing only came when I really understand the whole picture of the thing I want to written. I don't know